Allergies

My eyes itch and water.

My nose is stuffy and drippy.

My throat is dry and scratchy.

I feel like I have blown my nose a million times today.

My eyes are bloodshot.

My nose is red.

 

I have taken allergy medication.

I sit here sniffling.

I wait for it to start to work.

I hope it kicks in before I scratch my eyes out.

Because I really do like being able to see.

 

I really think my allergies are trying to kill me tonight.

I really hope they don't succeed.

Because I have things to do tomorrow.

And the next day and the day after that.

So, allergies, if you are reading this, 

Please, get the message.

I want you to GO AWAY!

Notice to Vacate

Dear Allergies

Please accept this as a formal request to vacate my head and sinuses immediately.  Despite my numerous informal pleas for you to leave, you are still violating many of the terms of our agreement.

Our agreement stated that if you were going to reside in my head, it would have to be essentially symptom free.  My constant stuffy nose and itchy watery eyes, both caused by you not only cause physical discomfort, but mental anguish.  You keep me up at night, leaving me exhausted and cranky during the day.  I am miserable because of you, Allergies.

Aside from physical and mental discomforts, you are causing me financial strain.  I rely on costly pills in an attempt to keep you under control.  And I am sure that with the amount of Kleenex I use, I am personally responsible for the deforestation of a rain forest somewhere.

I am sick and tired (both literally and figuratively) of you and all the problems and issues that you have been responsible for over the years that you have resided in my head.  I was young and foolish when I entered into this agreement with you.  I will not longer tolerate you and your nonsense.  If you do not leave on your own accord, I will be forced to take more drastic measures.

Thank you for your immediate co-operation.