Are YOU Listening? Seriously, are YOU?

I am participating in the 5 for 5 writing series at Momalom where bloggers write a post a day for five days about a given topic.  Today's topic is LISTEN.

The twist on today's 5 for 5 post is that it is also Six Word Friday over at Melissa Camera Wilkins' Blog!  

Listen, hear, feel, understand and write.
The voices, stories in your head,
Let them out.  Set them free.
Share your stories with the world.
Write them, Blog them, Journal them.
Share your creativity with the world.
Don't just keep it to yourself.
This is me, trying to share,
Some of the voices, stories memories,
that bounce around in my head.
Read, enjoy, comment, come back again.

My Rambling Thoughts On Age

I am participating in the 5 for 5 writing series at Momalom where bloggers write a post a day for five days about a given topic.  Today's topic is AGE.

We all know what age is.  Simply put, it is the number of years we have been alive.  
We all know that there are certain rights of passage that come with certain ages.  
Four year olds get to start school.  Sixteen year olds get to learn to drive.  Eighteen year olds get to vote.  Nineteen year olds get to drink. 
As child there are always things that you want to do but can't until you are older.  How many times did you tell your parents that you couldn't wait to be an adult and move out on your own?
As an adult, there are so many things that you could only do when you were younger.How often do you wish you could be a carefree child again?
I think back 20 years, to when I was 15 and thought that my parents were old and my grandparents were really old.  Now that I am the age that my mother was then, it really doesn't seem that old.  And then I realize that my parents are around the age that my grandparents were at that same time and I wonder why I ever thought that classified as REALLY old.  Time really does change ones perception of age and what is old.
A few years ago, I was at a Brownie Meeting, my first year as a leader, and had this conversation with three of the girls:
Keira: "Nicki, how old are you?"Me: "How old do you think I am?"Katrina: "You are old enough to have a husband and a house."Keitha: "You must be really old then!"Keira: "But not as old as our moms because you aren't old enough to have kids yet."They all huddled together and whispered for a moment and looked at me again.Katrina: "We think you are 19."Me:  "Good guess girls!"Keitha: "Are we right?"Me: "Nope, but let's just pretend that you are!"(The 30 year old me was very happy to pretend that I was 19 again!)
And there you have it, my migraine induced random thoughts about AGE!  (By the way, right about now,  on day two of this monthly migraine, I would love to go back to an age before I started getting these lovely headaches!)

A Photo That . . .

I am participating in the 5 for 5 writing series at Momalom where bloggers write a post a day for five days about a given topic.  Today's topic is PICTURES.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do for today's 5 for 5, with the topic of Pictures, I had a few ideas bouncing around in my head, but hadn't settled on a direction when Pam at writewrds posted her Hostel Bookers 7 Super Shots post and nominated me to participate as well.  So, I gave into the peer pressure (just kidding, I thought it was a neat idea) and decided to do two challenges as one!  So, here goes, I am taking part in Hostel Bookers 7 Super Shots AND Momalom's 5 for 5 with this post! 

First, I needed to pick seven photos, that shouldn't have been difficult as I take hundreds of photos every month, but in my typically obsessive nature, it took me half and hour of searching for the "perfect" photos for each category.  But, here they are!

A photo that . . . takes my breath away.

This past summer, I was fortunate enough to happen upon these two butterflies who were too busy . . . "enjoying each other's company" to notice me and my camera.  I got a number of gorgeous photos of these two "friendly" creatures.  And it still amazes me that I was able to get pictures of such a beautiful, natural event.  And it makes me giggle that I witnessed this event at Upper Canada Village!

A photo that . . . makes me laugh or smile.

This is Liam and I in September 2009 at the New York State Fair.  It always makes me smile because there aren't a whole lot of photos of Liam and I (I'm always the one with the camera) and most of the ones we do have are posed.  This is natural.  We are happy.  We are having fun.  We are on holidays.  We are waiting for Liam's first ever concert to start, Sara Evans.  Since then, he has been to many concerts and loves country music as much as his Daddy and I do!

A photo that . . . makes me dream.

Seeing my little boy trying to do grown up things that he sees his daddy do makes me dream about his future.  I wonder who he will be.  What he will become.  Where will the future take this little person with the huge personality.

A photo that . . . makes me think.

My messy flower beds, at the beginning of spring makes me think of what is to come.  Sunny summer days, filled with beautiful flowers and a vegetable garden overflowing with home grown produce.  I hope that is what life has in store for me . . . happy times with good friends, loving family and enough of everything we need to stay healthy and happy.

A photo that . . . makes my mouth water.

Homemade hamburger patties, cooked on an open fire . . . really, does it get much better than that?  Well, maybe if they were accompanied by a bottle of red wine.  Now I am hungry . . . who wants a burger?

A photo that . . . tells a story.

We were camping, we needed fire wood, Liam found us fire wood.  My sometimes serious, always helpful little man, doing his part to get the fire started so we could cook supper!

A photo that . . . I am am most proud of (aka my National Geographic Worth Shot).

I grew up with my mother and papa being avid bird watches.  Although I am no expert and can only identify the most basic of birds (this is a chickadee!) I do love feeding the bird in the winter and when it's not too cold, trying to get some pictures of the fluttery little creatures!  And every so often I get what I think is a pretty good shot!  

And there you have it, by 7 Super Shots.  I could keep going with dozens of other photos but that might just get to be too much!  Hope you enjoyed my pictures!

Finally, to challenge five other bloggers to jump on the Hostel Bookers 7 Super Shots Challenge . . . 

Karen at Karen's Chronicles

Alex at I don't Blog But If I Did

Amy at Keep Your Head Up

Allison at Ali's Adventures

Krista at Life In The Hutch

Why? Why? Why?

I am participating in the 5 for 5 writing series at Momalom where bloggers write a post a day for five days about a given topic.  Today's topic is WORDS.

Babies make such cute little sounds when they are brand new.  I remember Liam making little grunting noises that reminded me a little baby piglet.  But then there are the times when they scream and scream and scream, when nothing you do can soothe them.  Haven't we all in desperation said to our little babies, "I just wish you could tell me what's wrong!"
Before you know it, that little baby isn't a baby anymore.  Suddenly, you have a walking, talking toddler, who amazes you everyday with the new words they are learning to say and use.  They are finally able to start putting words to their needs, making things a little easier for you when they want something.  There are still lots of moments where they are just babbling and making no sense whatsoever to anyone but themselves, but it doesn't matter.  They are finally using the words that you were so desperate to hear.
In our house, we have moved past the toddler talk phase and into the three year question phase.  Liam has words for just about everything.  Sure, there are lots of words that he still needs to learn to say, like amphibian, which he heard on a Dinosaur documentary last night, but for the most part he can articulate his wants and needs.  His biggest need is to know EVERYTHING!
The questions are constant.  "Who is that?" "What are you doing?" "Where is my car?"  And the most frequent of all questions, a single word, "WHY?"  Everything from the simplest task to the most complicated device in the house needs to be explained, repeatedly!  
I know that why is a very important word when you are three years old and learn about the world and everything in it.  But sometimes it is just plain exhausting having to explain everything.  I know that repetition is how three year olds learn and remember things but do I really have to answer the same question 10 times in a row?  And I know that it is very important for you to know the exact answer to every question that pops into your head, but I really don't know all the answers, all the time.  I wish I did.  I wish I had the words and knowledge to answer every question that my little man asks but it just doesn't work that way!  
So, even though 3 years ago, I was wishing that my little baby boy had the words to tell me what he wanted and needed, there are now times when I wish he would, just for a little while, stop using those words and give Mommy a few minutes of peace from the questions.  

Depression Changes Things

I am participating in the 5 for 5 writing series at Momalom where bloggers write a post a day for five days about a given topic.  The first topic is CHANGE.

Many people think of depression as just feeling sad all the time.  Unfortunately for those of us who suffer from depression, we know that there is a whole lot more to it than that.  Depression effects just about every aspect of your life, not always at the same time or in the same way but it touches everything in someway. 

Everything changes when you become depressed.  The way you look at life, the way you interact with people, the way you do your job, your thoughts, your choices, your hopes and desires.

Some of these changes are easy enough to get back on track once you learn how to control your depression.  But some of them are not.  Sometimes it seems as though depression has changed certain aspects of your existence for good.

Before I developed depression, I was full of energy and motivation, always ready to try new things and make decisions, although I was a little bit shy, I wasn't afraid of meeting new people and I was no super model, but for the most part, I was happy with my appearance.  Now, even though my depression is under control, I have changed.  

I don't have the energy and motivation that I once had.  Even when I want to do something, it can be a struggle to motivate myself to get up off the couch or move away from the computer.  I miss the enthusiasm that I once had for many things.  I hate having to push myself to do the things I love. 

I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see.  I need to get healthier, not only for me, but for my family.  I need to eat better and eat less.  I need to exercise more.  I need to stop just saying these things and actually doing them.

I am tired of worrying about what people think of me.  I am tired of seeing things so negatively.  I am tired of not being able to make a decision.  I am tired of the way depression has changed me.  I am tired of depression being in control.  It is time I learn to control my depression.

It is time to CHANGE.