The End Of An Era - Good Bye Daycare . . . Hello Big Boy School

Four years ago, almost to the day, my baby was started daycare.  He was eight months old and I was a week away from going back to work - at the same daycare.

 

Liam's first day of daycare - August 31, 2009

 

Four years seems like a long time, but it also seems to have gone by in the blink of an eye. 

 

After a year in the infant program, a year in the toddler program and two years in the preschool program, with me working in the same building for three of those four years, today is my baby's last day of daycare.  He is almost ready to start school.

 

 

Liam's Preschool Graduation

 

My little boy, who has come to daycare with my for four years will now have to get on the school bus and go to school all by himself. 

 

I am excited for him to embark on this new adventure - to learn new things, to make new friends, to explore a whole new world. 

 

But I am also sad.  He is growing up far too quickly.  I won't get to see him with his friends every day.  He won't be there to run and give me a hug when I go into the room that he's been in for the past year.  I won't know what he's done every day and if he's listening to his teachers or not.  I won't be able to kiss his bo-bos.  I know that I am very lucky to have had him here at the daycare where I work.  I know it is a luxury that most working parents don't have.  But it still makes me sad.

 

And I have to admit that I am a bit worried for him.  What if he is scared on the bus?  What if he doesn't like his teacher?  What if he doesn't make new friends?  What if he needs me and I'm not there?

 

I am pretty sure that my worries will amount to nothing.  He is excited about going to big boy school.  He loved going on the school bus for our daycare field trip.  He's been trough countless daycare teachers in four years and they have all adored him and he's loved them all.  He is super social and he makes friends with kids anywhere we go. 

 

I think this is where I have to admit that I need him here more than he needs me here.  Even when he was a toddler and we were in the same room almost all day, everyday, he was content to do his own thing most of the time.

 

September will be a month of big changes and many new routines.  I expect that there will be a lot of chaos as we adapt to these changes and learn new routines.  I am sure that there will be tears (probably most of them will be mine!) but there will also be lots of excitement as we embark on this next stage of life. 

 



 

 

 

 

Some Arguments Just Aren't Meant To Be Won

 Especially the ones you have in your head, with yourself.

Friday was Liam's first ever daycare field trip.  he was so excited to be going on a school bus to see animals at Saunders Country Critters.  Being a full time working mom and with it being the middler of summer when everyone wants holiday time, I was unable to get the time off work to go with him.  Of course, as many of you can well imagine, this triggered my "Mommy Guilt" instincts.  And started the argument in my head.

"If I was a SAHM, I would have been able to go with him," I thought.

"That's stupid, if I was a SAHM, he wouldn't be in daycare to go on a field trip," I reminded myself.

"But if I was a SAHM, I could do things like this with him all the time," I pointed out.

"But he wouldn't get to go on the bus and have all the friends that he has at daycare.  And without a paycheque, I wouldn't be able to afford to do things with him all the time," I argued.

It went back and forth like this for awhile until I finally realized that I was never going to win the argument.  There is no perfect situation, just the one that is best for our family.  Me working full time and having Liam in daycare is the best situation for us right now.  We need the paycheque, I love my job and Liam loves daycare.  

And for the record, there was absolutely no reason whatsoever for me to feel bad about not going on the field trip with Liam as Henry did take the day off to go along.  Liam was thrilled to have Daddy going with him and I was happy that they were getting to have this day together, but "Mommy Guilt" doesn't always look at things in the more realistic manner!

It's NOT Teething!!!

If I hear another parent tell me that their child's illness is just because they are teething, I think I am going to scream!  In 12 years of working with infants and toddlers in daycare, I have heard just about every imaginable symptom put off to "they are just teething".  And I am sorry, but for the most part, it is complete and utter bull shit!  

Teething DOES NOT cause high fevers, vomiting, diarrhea, rashes or whatever other symptom that I have sent your child home with.  If your child is not eating or sleeping normally, it is NOT because they are teething.  IT IS BECAUSE YOUR CHILD IS ILL!!!!

Yes, if your child is an infant or toddler, there is a very good chance that they are teething when they exhibited the above mentioned symptoms, but teething is not the cause of them!  I can't stress this enough, your child has a fever, is vomiting or has diarrhea because he or she is SICK!

Don't listen to your mother or grandmother when they tell you that every child gets a fever when they are teething.  Chances are that when they were raising their children, the belief was that teething caused other symptoms, particularly fevers, but things change.  People once thought the world was flat, remember?

It is now known that teething only causes slight low grade fevers (less than 100 F), drooling, excessive chewing, redness and swelling of the gums and slight pain.  If your child has any other symptoms, even if you know they are teething, please take them seriously and realize that this is a sign of illness and that they need to see a doctor.  

And DO NOT assume that as your child's daycare provider, I am an idiot.  I can tell if you child is ill.  Chances are, he or she spends as much if not more awake hours in the day with me than with you.  I can tell if they are in pain or discomfort.  I am going to notice if they have a fever.  You may be able to dope your child with infant tylenol or advil but you can't hide the fact that your child is miserable and pale.  And I am not for a second going to believe that anything other than mild discomfort is "just teething".  

And DO NOT flat out lie to me and say that your child is just teething when you have taken them to the doctor and you KNOW that they are sick, especially when I know full well that there is someone who can look after your sick child while you are at work.  You may be a nice, cheerfully person, you love your son and seem to be a good mom, but you just dropped a few notches in my book.  

 

CHANGE - It can be a good thing, right?

The Executive Director, who we don't see very often at the daycare (most of her work is done behind the scenes) has decided to make some scheduling changes to the toddler program.  Now, I know that there are good reasons for her to have made some changes and I know that change is sometimes needed to make things better.  But in this situation, I feel that as the Head Teacher of the program and the one who will be ensuring that these changes are properly implemented, I should have had the opportunity to give some input before the new schedule was made.  

Some of the changes make perfect sense, really are needed and should make things easier once everyone gets accustomed to the new routines.  Other things, however, seem completely unnecessary and without any logical reason.  And that's where I think my input could have been valuable.  Because as far as I can tell, from looking at this new schedule on paper, it is just going to make an already difficult and busy time of the day, even more burdensome and hectic.  

But the Executive Director has been away from working with the children for so long that she probably doesn't even realize all of the ways this one little change on paper really could be not only for the children, but also for the parents and staff.

I am trying very hard to be open minded about this.  I keep telling myself hat she did run the daycare for many years before I was even hired.  I am telling myself that change can be a good thing.  I want to say that implementing these changes for the first time tomorrow will be easy and that everyone will be happy.  But I really do have my doubts.  

So, for the next few days, I will do my best to implement all the changes and follow the new schedule as closely as possible.  But I will also be documenting daily what does and doesn't work out.  Because despite my efforts to be positive, I foresee a lengthly e-mail to the Executive Director as well as the Director detailing my concerns with the changes, as well as my proposed solutions.  

This will be my first time dealing directly with the Executive Director.  Any issues I've had in the past have been dealt with by my direct Supervisor or the Director.  I don't know what to expect.  All I can do is keep my fingers crossed that things work out better than I am expecting and that if they don't, the powers that be are willing to listen to my concerns and make further changes as required.

Check out my Guest Blogger Post on Mommies Faves

Please check out my first Guest Blogger post on Mommies Faves.  I am very honored and excited to become a regular feature on Tree's blog.  I will be writing regular posts on daycare from the point of view of both a parent and a Registered Early Childhood Educator.  My first post focuses on the benefits of daycare.  Future posts will include answers to parents questions as well as my thoughts on daycare related issues.

People Never Cease to Amaze Me . . .

Usually when I say that people never cease to amaze me, it is because someone has done something incredibly stupid, but this time, it is a good thing!

Remember a few weeks ago when I blogged about the mom trying to bring her sick child to daycare?  If not, you can read about it here, No, I Won't Change The Rules For You.  Today, this same parent had to be called because her son had a fever and needed to be picked up early.  I was expecting her to be annoyed and frustrated as she usually is when things like this come up and I must admit that I was just as well pleased that I was working in the office this afternoon and wouldn't have to see her when she arrived.

As luck would have it, I needed to go up to the toddler room just as she was leaving with her son.  I felt myself tense when I heard her voice in the stairway, but there was no where for me to go to avoid her.  So I braced myself for her tyrant of complaints.  But I couldn't have been more wrong!  Despite being concerned that her son was sick, she was friendly and pleasant.  She asked me about his day, as I am his main teacher and was with him all morning.  We talked about his language development recently.  And then she apologized to me for the way she acted a couple of weeks ago.  She told me that she was just having a really bad day.  She knew that she had been out of line and rude to me.  And that she has felt bad about it ever since.

Even though I had long since gotten over her little outburst (blogging about it got a lot of the anger and frustration out of my system!) having her take the time to apologize to me today really made me feel good.  I have always felt that I have a really good rapport with this parent (which not all the staff have, as she can be difficult) I was a little worried that the rapport I had worked hard to build with this woman had been destroyed over her mistake.  I now know that she doesn't feel that I was at fault.  She values the care I give to her son on a daily basis.

No, I won't change the rules for you!

Does everyone think that the world revolves around them and their needs?

I had a mother bring her son into the daycare this morning with antibiotics for a throat infection that was diagnosed last night.  He was given the first dose of meds last night and promptly vomited.

There were so many problems with this situation that I hardly knew where to start!  First off, I explained that vomiting aside, the child needed to be on antibiotics for at least 24 hours before returning to daycare to ensure that they are no longer contagious and that they aren't going to have an adverse reaction.  Then, there was the issue of the vomiting.  Kids have to be free of vomiting for 24 hours to be at daycare as well. And vomiting could be a sign of an allergic reaction.

Of course, Mommy was not at all happy when I said that he couldn't stay.  First she said that the vomiting wasn't from the meds and that we could call her right away if he vomited again and she would come get him.  So, I explained about the vomiting rule and told her that we've had others with stomach viruses.  Of course, she quickly decided that he had only vomited because of the medication.

I my head, I was screaming "Do you really think that I'm that stupid that I wouldn't realize that you totally just contradicted yourself?"

However, the Head Teacher Nicki prevailed and I stayed very polite and professional, apologizing profusely for the inconvenience.  All while unprofessional Nicki was quickly losing the little bit of sympathy that she had for this woman.  Had she read her daycare policy book that every parent is given when their child starts daycare, she would have known ALL of these things.  I was still thinking that this could still just have been an innocent mistake.

That all changed and every bit of sympathy I had went out the window when she snottily replied that"I don't know what I'm going to do now I have to leave for Winnipeg in two hours."

That's when I knew for sure that it was all a play on her part to get the kid into daycare today when she knew that he wasn't allowed to be there.  She thought that she would be able to get me to change the rules for her.  As a parent, I know how hard it is when you have somewhere you need to be and you have a sick child who cannot attend daycare, but there are reasons why we have these rules.  And I am not going to risk myself to change the rules for YOU!
 

Sick baby

My little bear is sick. He's had a runny nose for about a week and a half, a cough for a few days and finally today, he hardly ate anything and has a fever. :( Now, I am not complaining, I know first hand how much kids can get sick when they are in daycare and know that many babies get sick within their first week or two of daycare because their little immune systems are just about non-existent (Liam has made it just over a month) but I feel bad for my poor little guy. However, aside from the lack of appetite, (which was better for Mommy at supper time than it was at daycare today) he doesn't seem to be too bothered by anything. He is his usual happy self . . . until you wipe his nose, then he lets you know that you are pissing him off royally and then goes right back to being happy!

Tomorrow, because of the fever, he can't go to daycare. And I have to go to work, so does Dad. So, we are packing little bear up and taking him to spend the day with Grandma and Aunty Margaret. I know that he will be fine with them and that they will take good care of him, but I feel bad that I can't be with him when he isn't feeling well. I know that I don't have a choice, there is absolutely no way that I can get the day off work, but I can't help but feel like I am letting him down and that I am a bad mommy. I know that I'm not, I know that he will probably have a fun day at Grandma's house, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel like a horrible mom. :(

First Week . . . Last Week . . .

So, we find ourselves at the end of Liam's first week of daycare and my last week of mat leave.

I am thrilled that he is doing so well. He had a bit of difficulty with nap time a couple of days, but over all, he is doing amazing. Rhonda, the supervisor and my immediate boss, said to me yesterday that she thinks that he is one of the best babies she's ever seen as far as how well he adjusted! And Rhonda has been working at ABC for over 20 years, so she's seen A LOT of kids come and go!

I am not so thrilled about the prospect of getting up Tuesday morning and heading back to work. Early morning drives into the city, brown bag lunches, rushing around to get things done after work, it just doesn't appeal to me. But there has been no winning lottery ticket with my name on it, no money trees have magically appeared in my back yard, nor has hubby acquired a sudden increase in pay, so come Tuesday morning, I will be dragging my butt out of bed to go look after other people's kids, while someone else looks after mine. It just doesn't seem right some how, but I guess there are lots of things in life that just don't work out the way we want them to!

So, I am going to try and enjoy the last long weekend of the summer and my last long weekend of freedom from the real world!

First Day of Daycare

Yesterday, was Liam's first day of daycare. Sunday night, I bustled around to make sure that everything was gathered up and ready to go. Monday morning, we were up bright and early and ready to go.

I arrived at daycare with my little man at about 7:30am. I put him down on the floor with the toys and went to put all his stuff away. He didn't even seem to notice that I wasn't right beside him. He played happily while I chatted with the staff and organized all his belongings into the proper places. He just continued to play as if everything was normal until he was ready for his breakfast. He complained just enough to let us know that he was ready to eat. After his breakfast and a dry diaper, it was nap time. Into his crib he went with his blankie, and in minutes he was asleep! Can you believe what a perfect baby I have? He went for his nap and ate his lunch like a pro! He smiled, laughed and talked to everyone who would listen!

I was a little concerned that today would be more difficult, as it often is for kids as it is generally the first time they are left alone. (Monday, I stay at the daycare, although I was in and out of the room and not always with him.)

We arrived at daycare at about 11am today. I stayed for about an hour, watching Liam play and have lunch. When it was time for me to leave, I gave him a kiss and said good bye. He looked at me and smile before turning back to his toys. As I was leaving the room, I called his name and said good bye again. He looked at me and laughed!

After I left, he continued to play until nap time, and was still sleeping when Daddy arrived to pick him up. He's been asleep for over two hours!

Tomorrow, Daddy is dropping him off in the morning and picking him up in the afternoon . . . I will have the day to myself!!! Whatever will I do??? I should clean my house and work in my garden . . . but I might just spend the day scrapbooking or something fun like that!!

A month to go . . .

I sit here, trying to prepare, mostly mentally at this point to go back to work. I have been off since Christmas on maternity leave with my first child. Liam was born on Christmas day, he is my pride and joy and I adore every minute that I spend with him. But our lazy, but fun filled days at home are quickly coming to an end. On August 31st, Liam will start daycare and on September 8th, I will go back to work. This isn't what I want. I want to be able to take the full year of maternity leave. I want to be a stay at home mom. My husband wants me to be able to stay home with our little boy. But we don't always get what we want from life. Financially, there is no way that I can stay home any longer. So, we prepare for the day when we have to start getting up and getting ready early in the morning, instead of sitting around in our pajamas for half the day.

The daycare space is secured, and although Liam will be attending the daycare that I have worked at for the past 10 years, it is amazing the amount of thought I have to put into preparing for him to be there. I am already making lists of all the things I will have to take for him on the first day . . . diapers, wipes, diaper cream, extra clothes, sunscreen, food, bottles . . . the list seems to be never ending. Maybe now I will understand a little better when parents of the children forget something that their child needs!

And then there is the mental aspect . . . I have to leave my baby with other people. Yes, I know them, I have been working with them for years, but still, he won’t be with me. In some ways, it is probably easier knowing the daycare as well as I do, but in other ways, I think it is harder. I know that there are times when my baby won’t get the attention he needs right away, because there are 10 other screaming babies, and that breaks my heart, even though I know there is no way around it. And even though I will be in the same building, I am saddened by the things that I will miss. I hope he will accomplish his first steps and first words when he is home with me, but the reality is that I know I will mostly likely miss at least some of these things.

But, life will go on. Not the life that I have come to know and love, but a new crazy, busy life.