Potty Training Tuesday #16

When The Time Is Right . . . 

We have finally had potty training success with Liam!  Since my last Potty Training Tuesday post in . . . August, has it really been that long?  We have had literally no success with potty training.  

A couple of times Liam announced that he was a big boy and didn't need to wear diapers anymore, but he also refused to use the potty.  

Over the Christmas holidays, I tried some serious potty training, wear underwear and sitting on the potty every fifteen minutes.  Still nothing.

Although I desperately wanted Liam to be potty trained, I wasn't going to push the issue.  At his three year old check up in January, the pediatrician told Daddy that Liam really should be potty trained.  His advice . . . put him on the potty every 30 minutes if he wants to or not and give him a sticker when he pees.  (I am not even going to get into all the things that are wrong with that advice!  At least not right now!!)

Daddy thought that this sounds like a good plan, so we gave it a try, for about two days.  Liam was miserable every time we made him sit on the potty and we had absolutely no success.

At the beginning of February, the daycare decided that it was time for some hardcore potty training for a number of the children in Liam's group.  

I crossed my fingers, prayed to the potty training gods, sent lots of extra clothes and hoped for the best, but expected the worst!

In the beginning, there were LOTS of accidents and no success.

The there were fewer accidents but still little to no success.  Liam's teachers seemed to think that he was "holding it" as he would pee as soon as they put a diaper on him at nap time.  And although it's not as good as actually using the toilet, it is a good step as it is a sign that the child is gaining some control.

Then, finally, one day there was a pee on the toilet! And soon after that, success was a regular thing.  But only at daycare.  At home it was a struggle to get him to sit for even a few seconds.  But I was not discouraged!  Progress is still progress even when it is slow!

It took his daycare teacher telling him that if he used the potty at home for me that she would give him a big sticker the next morning, to get him to start at home.

And now, about 6 weeks after they started, I am thrilled to say that except for naps and night time, Liam is about 95% toilet trained.  He wears big boy underwear, has very few accidents and can mostly use the potty by himself.  He still wears a diaper when we are out, just in case we can find or get to a bathroom fast enough but even then, he usually asks to go use the toilet!  

So, when you are getting discouraged that your child isn't potty training fast enough, just think of me, the daycare teacher who has potty trained countless kids in her 14 years of working as an ECE who couldn't potty train her own child!  

It will happen when the time is right!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #15

The Potty Training Yo-Yo!

(Yes, I am aware that it is Wednesday, I am going to say that I am not a day late with this post but almost a week early . . . are you buying it?)

We are having a bit of a yo-yo effect happening with Liam's potty training.  And although I know it is perfectly normal, I don't like it!!!

The weekend before last, the yo-yo was flying high.  Liam asked numerous times to sit on the potty AND peed three times!  I was thrilled and hoping that it was the breakthrough that I had been waiting for - the success and interest that indicated that it was time to take potty training to the next level.

Through the week, Liam is in daycare full time and sits regularly on the toilet but hasn't had any success yet.  There isn't a lit of opportunity at home, during the week for any hardcore potty training, so, I planned to give it a go this past weekend.

I think (and hope) that an accident or two in underwear will be what Liam needs to get the idea.  He HATES it when his diaper leaks and his pants get wet.

Well, let's just say that hard core potty training did not happen this weekend.  The yo-yo fell hard, all the way to the floor.  There was absolutely NO interest in sitting on the potty all weekend, except when it was being used as a way to avoid bath time.  (Bath time is the most dreaded of all times in our house.)

So we are still in the wait and what happens phase.  We continue to encourage and praise every little step towards our goal, as we anxiously wait for the next opportunity to step it up.  Someday he will be ready.

People used to tell me that I was lucky that I had some much potty training experience, that it would make potty training my own child so much easier.  I always just laughed and joked that my experience and knowledge would probably backfire and my kid would go to kindergarden in diapers.  I am now beginning to fear that I jinxed myself!  

Hopefully, I am wrong and the yo-yo will be on it's way back up very soon, because I would really like to not have to buy diapers anymore!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #14

Potty Training and Self Help Skills

Potty training time is a wonderful opportunity to work on some self help skills with your toddler.

Part of the reason you want to potty train your child is to give them more independence, so, from the beginning, you should start having our child try to do as much as possible on their own.

Have your child pull up and down their own pants.  In the beginning, they probably won't be able to get them anywhere close to all the way up.  Start by having them try and you helping as soon as they've put the effort into an attempt.  As with all new learning opportunities, give lots of encouragement and praise for success.

If your child has an accident and needs to be changed, have them try to take off the wet clothes as well as try to put on the clean clothes.

With consistent encouragement and opportunities to practice these skills, not only will your child be potty trained in the end but also able to dress him or her self.

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #13

The Beginning

Liam has finally started to show and interest in potty training.  Suddenly, about two weeks ago, he asked to sit on the potty at daycare AND actually wanted to sit!  Before this, he refused to sit on the potty.  He talked about it, said he wanted to, but when it came down to it, he refused.  But this time, he actually wanted to try.  And it continued all week.

On the weekend, we got out the potty at home.  He sat on it, playing with a spray bottle, a hair brush and brushing his teeth for a LONG time, probably close to 20 minutes!

And when he got up, the potty was full of PEE!!!!!!  We'd had our first success!  

And he was not happy about it!  He was quite upset that the potty was full of "eww!"  And even more upset that I didn't have a race car sticker to give him.  (Totally mommy fail, I know!)  So, I broke one of my own rules and gave him a lollipop!

Monday at daycare, after nap, he sat on the potty and peed again!!!

And again, he was not happy about!  He was throughly disgusted (and cried) that the potty was full of "eww!"

It's been a week now, since our two successful potty times and we haven't had anymore.  Liam does often sit on the potty at home and at daycare, but hasn't put anymore "eww" in it yet.  

He has learned (most of the time) that his penis need to be pointed into the potty.  He calls it his peenie.  And makes sure to tell all the other kids at daycare who are sitting on the potty (girls included) to put their "peenies in the poddy".

I am very please that Liam is starting to show an interest in potty training and that he has had a little bit of success.  But I am finding it harder than expected to follow my own potty training suggestions.

I am not being anywhere near as consistent as I should be with getting him to sit on the potty when we are at home.  

I am having a very hard time not insisting that he sit on it when he is resistant.

It is amazing how much harder it is when it is your own child.  And it is making me realize that I need to be a little more understanding of daycare parents.  I often push parents (politely of course!) to be more consistent at home.  I am now realizing just how difficult that can be with everything else that needs to be done after coming home from work.  I will continue to suggest consistency at home but will try to be more understanding of the people who just can't do it.

Liam has also reminded me that you NEVER, no matter how many kids you've had a hand in potty training, know what to expect.  in over 12 years of toddlers and potty training, I have NEVER had a child cry when they pee in the potty because it is "eww!"

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday # 12

Taking A Break - Knowing When To Take a Potty Training Break

There often comes a point in the potty training journey where a parent or caregiver has to decide if it is worth while to continue full out potty training or if they need to step back and take a break.  

Taking a break is not a sign of failure on anyone's part.  It is just simply pausing until your child is really ready.

Just because your child has displayed the initial signs of readiness, doesn't mean that they are 100% ready to be potty trained.  

Here are some signs that it may be best for you and your child to take a break from potty training:

-You child is having very little of no success on the potty.

-He or she gets very upset by accidents

-Your child has become scared of the potty.

-He or she is showing a decreased interest.

Your child is completely oblivious to accidents.

Taking a break is not quitting or giving up.  It may be frustrating to have to take a break, but it is very common.  Many kids make numerous attempts before they really get it.

You don't necessarily need to quit completely to take a break.  You can still encourage your child to sit on the potty when you are changing their diaper and to tell you when they have to pee.  This lets the child know that even though you have taken a step backwards from underwear back to diapers, potty training is still a priority while eliminating the mess and stress of frequent accidents.

If you are taking a break due to decreased interest, you need to use your break to build up your child's interest again.  Talk about friends and family who use the potty.  Talk about wearing big boy/girl underwear.  Model using the toilet.  Anything you can think of that might boost their interest without causing a lot of pressure is good.

If you child has become afraid of the potty, take a few days to try and eliminate this fear.  Have the potty somewhere that it is visible more often.  Encourage them to sit on it, even with their clothes on.  If their fear seems to lessen with this, try to keep on potty training, if not, it is time to take a break.  Pushing a child to do something that they are afraid of can be very traumatizing.

When to start again?

Knowing when it is a good time to start again is much the same as deciding to start in the first place.  Watch for signs and take it step by step again - sitting on the potty regularly but still wearing diapers; wearing underwear/taking your child to the potty often to develop a routine and pattern; to finally having your child ask to go potty and eventually go on their own

Potty training is always more successful when it is done at the child's pace and comfort level, not yours!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

(Not) Potty Training Tuesday #11

Sorry about the lack of a Potty Training Tuesday post last week.  I had good intentions, but it takes more than good intentions to write a coherent post!

As promised, here is an update on my potty training with Liam.  Or as you may have guessed from the title,  how I am not potty training Liam.

I thought that when he started telling me that he had pooped, that we were getting close to ready for potty training.  Then he started to tell me when he had peed in his diaper.  And most recently has come the realization that his used diapers are "eww".  Woo Hoo, potty training time!

WRONG!!!  Liam has absolutely no use for the potty as anything more than a chair.  And that would be fine as a starting off point, except that he refuses to let me take his diaper off to sit on it.

He just has absolutely no interest whatsoever in potty training right now.  I thought that he would see his friends at daycare sitting on the potty and follow along, but no!  I thought that maybe he could be enticed with stickers, but again, no!

I've even tried just taking the diaper off and putting him on the potty.  And let's just say, the temper tantrum was not a pretty sight!

So, we aren't potty training yet.We are in the "asking and talking it up" phase.Every diaper change I ask, "Liam, do you want to sit on the potty?"  Which is always answered with a  "NO!"I remind him one by one of all his friends at daycare who sit on the potty.To each name, he responds "yep."  He knows they all sit on the potty.My final question is always, "Are you going to sit on the potty today?"The response again is always, NO!"I smile and say, "Maybe next time."

What am I going to do about this, you ask?

NOTHING!

There's not a thing I can do about it.  If I force the issue, it is just going to make him mad and more resistant.  And it is going to cause everyone a whole lot of unwanted stress.  I have enough stress in my life without this!

The time will come, and until then, we will keep asking, encouraging and someday, he will sit on the potty!

Potty Training Tuesday #10

Boys and Aim

Moms, do yourselves and your future daughter in laws a favour and teach your son to aim from the beginning.  Unless you want to spend the next 18 years cleaning up pee off the floor and listening to your daughter in law complain about it for the rest of your life!

For some little boys, this isn't really an issue, they just naturally seem to know where things need to go. 

 For others, a few simple reminders:  "Point your penis down" or "Put your penis in the potty" does the trick.

Still others, need constant, repeated reminders to keep things in the right place.

And then there are others who need physical assistance each and every time.  If your son is one of these children, I suggest taking his hand and using it to hold/place his penis where it needs to be.  This not only gets things in the right place, but should teach him how to do it himself!  And hopefully, keeps your fingers out of the line of fire!

And finally there are the ones who can't keep their hands off it.  Little boys often seems to think that potty time is "play with my penis time".  And although this is a perfectly normal, natural exploration of body parts, if he happens to pee while exploring, it's going to get messy!

Another tidbit of advice, (that yes, I have learned the hard way) is that until you are 100% confident that your son has mastered the aim issue, don't stand in front of him while he's on the potty.  Stay off to the side to avoid a shower from the waterfall that is bound to happen from time to time.  

You really would be surprised how far that pee can fly!  Somehow, the laws of gravity do not apply to penises and little boys pee!

If you aren't having any luck with getting the pee in the potty/toilet with your son sitting on the potty, you can try standing up.

The best way that I have found to do this is to have him stand on a stool, facing the toilet, lean forward, putting both hands on the toilet tank and let gravity to the rest.  I know, I just said that the laws of gravity don't apply to little boys and pee, but there are exceptions to every rule!

All in all, find a way that works to teach your son the importance of getting the pee IN the potty not AROUND the potty will make your bathroom cleaning a lot easier!!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Tune in next week to hear about where we're at with Liam's potty training journey.

Potty Training Tuesday # 9

Potty Training Rewards

Rewarding your child for potty successes is a good incentive to keep your son or daughter motivated.  I find that using stickers as a reward works quite well.  Stickers are tangible and visual for your child and inexpensive for you!

Create a sticker chart and put it somewhere your child will see it often so that it also serves as a reminder that he or she should try to use the potty.

In the beginning, your child's sticker chart can simply be a piece of paper with your child's name or a simple title, for example "Liam's Potty Stickers".  Let your child choose a sticker and place it on the sheet for each success on the potty.

As they progress, the chart can evolve to having a column for each day to track how many times they use the potty each day.

And again, as your child gets closer to being fully trained, you can modify the chart/reward system to getting stickers for staying dry for a period of time (ex. one for morning, one for afternoon, etc).

You can give your child bigger rewards for completing the bigger milestones.  For example, the first time they stay dry all day, you could let them pick out a package of special underwear to buy.  Or a small toy or book the first time they stay dry all week.

The thing to remember is that giving too many bigger rewards makes it difficult to stop giving them when they are no longer required for motivation.

For the same reason, I always advise people to stay away from using food (especially candy) as potty training rewards.  Most kids get more than enough junk food without adding in a candy every time they use the potty.  And it is a lot easier to wean your child off getting a sticker every time they pee then it is to convince them that they don't need a candy every time they pee!

Also, stickers on a sticker chart serve as a visual reminder for your child to use the potty as well as a way to track your child's success.

If you child is in daycare, you could check with their caregiver to see what kind of sticker reward system they use for potty training, in order to keep rewards consistent.

And once you are confident that your child is completely 100% potty trained, there is nothing wrong with giving them a one time, more substantial reward.  Potty training is not easy for kids and they do deserve some kind of recognition for their efforts!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #8

Dealing With Accidents

With potty training, comes accidents, there is just no way around it, you are going to be cleaning up pee and washing poopey pants.  But how you react to  your child's accidents really depends on how your child reacts.

Children react in many different.  Some continue to play, completely unaware that anything is out of place. Some get very upset and cry.  Some get angry.  Some tell you what they've done.  Some even hide from you.  

Regardless of how your child reacts, the most important thing for you to remember when dealing with accidents is to remain calm and positive.  No matter how upset or frustrated you are about your child's accident, you have to be very careful to keep positive so as not to discourage your child from using the potty.

Never be angry with your child for having an accident.

Do not yell at or punish your child for having an accident.

Remember that potty training is something that your child needs to learn.  And much like learning any new skill at any point in life, mistakes will be made.  Accidents are the mistakes of potty training.

If you child is in the initial stages of potty training, you may find that they are completely unaware that they have had an accident.  Personally, I don't understand how they can continue to play as though nothing has happened with soaking wet pants, but they do!  In this case, you need to focus on labelling what they have done, what needs to be done and what they should be doing.

"Oh-oh, you peed in your pants.  Let's clean that up and get you out of those wet clothes.  And then you can try to pee on the potty again."

Talk to you child as much as you can about peeing in the potty versus peeing in their pants.  I really like to emphasize the "yucky" feeling of wet pants and explain that if they pee in the potty their pants will stay dry and comfortable.

If your child is consistently unaware of accidents AND not having success on the potty, that might be a sign that he or she isn't really ready for potty training.  The best thing to do in this situation, is to take a break.  Continue to encourage your child to sit on the potty when getting a diaper change, but take a break from full time potty training.

If your child gets upset or angry, you need to reassure them that there is no need to be upset.

"It's OK, it was just an accident.  We'll change you into clean, dry clothes and then you can go play again."

Give lots of hugs and reassurance that you are not angry and try to find out what it is about accidents that upset or anger your child so much.

"Why are you crying about this?  Can you tell me?"

I have seen kids who get upset because they don't like the way it feels, others because they don't want to get in trouble, others because they don't want to change their clothes.  Once you know why they are so upset, you can address the specific issue.

If your child tells you when they have had an accident, you should give them some praise for telling you, especially if they are in the initial stages of training.  At this point, your child may not yet be able to associate the felling of having to pee with actually peeing.  Or they may not be able to control the urge long enough to get to the potty.

"Thank you for telling me that you did a pee but next time, try to tell me a little sooner so that I can help you use the potty.  Let's get you changed into some dry clothes."

If your child hides from you, there is a good chance that they are afraid that they are in trouble or they are embarrassed that they have had an accident.  This is more common with older potty trainers (3 years or old).  Be extra careful in these situations to keep any frustration you have hidden.

"Oh well, maybe next time we'll make it to the potty."

If you think your child is hiding because they are embarrassed, approach them quietly so as not to draw attention to anyone else who might be around.  Reassure them that accidents happen and that although it is uncomfortable, it's not really a big deal.

"Don't worry about it, we'll change your clothes and put these ones in the laundry."

You should always encourage your child to sit on the potty after having an accident.  Sometimes there is more to come but the child may not be able to communicate that to you.

Remember, accidents happen in life and in potty training.  Do what you can to make the best of it!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday

You may have noticed the lack of a Potty Training Tuesday post last week.  I am taking a little bit of a break from potty training talk for the holidays!  I will be back with more potty training tips, tricks and stories in the new year!

Remember, potty training doesn't take holidays!  Try to be as consistent as possible with your potty training during the hustle and bustle of the holidays!

Happy Potty Training . . . I mean Happy Holidays!

Potty Training Tuesday # 7

Potty Training and Daycare

If your child is in full time daycare, chances are the majority of potty training will be done by your child's teacher or caregiver.  

Although consistency between home and daycare is an important factor in potty training, it is also important to remember that your child may do things differently when they are away from you.  Your child may eagerly sit on the the potty at daycare but not at home or vice versa.  This is not something to be concerned about.  Your child may sit on the potty at daycare because the other kids do it, but not at home because there aren't any other kids to watch.

If your child is showing an interest at daycare but not at home, work with your child's teacher to encourage your child to use the potty at daycare.  If they want to try your child in underwear, go with it.  Sometimes a child gets to the point where they are potty trained at daycare but not at home.  Again, not something to worry about, it is just a starting off point and in time they will become completely potty trained.  Do not force your child to sit on the potty at home if they are resisting.  Keep the potty available to them and always encourage them to use the potty at home, like at daycare.  With time, it will come!

The same things apply if your child uses the potty at home but not at daycare.  Although it is a little more difficult this way, as a child in full time care spends more awake time at daycare than at home during the week, but it can be done!  Make sure your child's teachers are fully aware of the progress being made at home so that they can encourage the child to do the same at daycare.

Communication between parents and teachers is a key element to potty train a child in daycare.  It is very difficult for either to be successful without the support of the other.  Share your successes and failures.  Discuss strategies.  Ask each other for help or advice.  If your child's teacher has been working with potty training aged kids for a long time, like I have, chances are she (or he) has lost of experience, stories, advice and support that they can offer.  Don't be afraid to ask if you aren't sure what to do or how to do it!  

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #6

Potty Talk . . . It Can Be A Good Thing

I once had a toddler at the daycare who often talked about "his Willy".  He told me that he got to see "his Willy" and play with him when he was at home but not at daycare.  I assumed that Willy was a family pet. Then we started potty training.  That's when I learned that this 2 year old and his father had nicknamed the child's penis Willy.

No matter how you approach potty training, it is going to involve many conversations about private body parts and bodily functions.  There are lots of words and phrases that can be used to to label and discuss these parts and actions.  Some are very anatomically correct and others are crude and vulgar.  Again, like most other parenting issues, it is your choice what words you use.  But remember that your child may not always choose the privacy of your home to discuss these matters.  So, if you want to each your son that his penis is a pecker (and yes, I've known parents who have done this) you will have to expect some looks of disgust when you son starts to talk about his pecker in the middler of the grocery store!

Personally, I think that it is best to teach children the proper names for body parts from the beginning.  Not only is it the easiest way to keep things consistent between home and daycare, it also eliminates confusion when you child is older and needs to know the proper names and words for things.  Besides, there will be lots of opportunities for your child to learn the slang and vulgar terms as they get older without you teaching it to them!

All discussions about potty training, body parts and using the toilet should be kept positive, even when the child has done something that you see as wrong.  It doesn't take much negativity to turn the whole potty training experience bad!

Here are some examples of how to talk about potty training to your toddler.s  Hopefully these will help you figure out your own version of potty talk.

Introducing the potty:

"It's time to learn to do your pees and poops in the potty."

"You are a big boy now.  It is time to sit on the potty to pee and poop."

"You can sit on the potty while Mommy sits on the toilet."

Making sure everything goes into the potty:

"Point your penis into the potty."

"Sit back all the way so the pee goes into the potty."

"Wait until you are all finished to stand up."

Success should ALWAYS be praised:

"Wow, you did a pee on the potty!"

"Great job, going pee on the potty."

"What a big girl you are for peeing on the potty!"

Accidents:

"Oh-oh, let's go change your wet pants."

"Next time we will try to get to the potty faster."

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday #5

Time to Actually Get Started

You have the potty and underwear.  You've seen all the signs.  You know it is time.  But you have no idea where to start.

Start by having your child sit on the potty when you change their diaper.  You may or may not see any action, but it will get your child familiar with sitting on the potty.  As you get closer to actually starting to move to wearing underwear, you can start putting your child on the potty more often (after meals, before bath, other times when you think that they might need to pee).  It is always nice to have some success before you venture into underwear so that your child has an idea of what they are supposed to do.

When you are both ready, pick a time when you don't have any other plans and pull on the underwear.  For the first little while, you should plan to take your child to the potty every 15-20 minutes.  Encourage them to sit for a few minutes each time, singing songs or reading stories as good ways to pass the time.  

You will soon be able to tell if you really need to take your child that often.  Some children at this stage pee often but small amounts, others don't pee as often but larger amounts.  You need to learn your child's needs to judge how often to take them.  As the days and weeks progress, your child will start to tell you when they have to go to the potty.

Don't be afraid to put a diaper on your child for naps or going out, but do try to be as consistent as possible with the underwear and trips to the potty.  And be prepared for lots of laundry!

Another very important thing to remember is to always be positive.  There may be a few accidents or there may be a lot of accidents.  But either way, you need to keep this as a positive experience.  If you get frustrated, upset or angry when they have an accident, it is very quickly going to become a negative experience.  Give lots of praise for success and downplay accidents.

You are going to be making many trips to the potty in the first few days and weeks, but it will be worth it in the long run.  Don't be afraid to show your child what you want them to do.  There is nothing wrong with letting your child watch you use the toilet.  Watching older siblings can be excellent motivation as well.  Follow your child's cues and hope for the best!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday # 4

How Do you Know Your Child Is Ready?

A mistake that many parents make when setting out on the potty training journey is starting before the child is ready.  And if the child isn't ready, the child isn't going to potty train and the parent is going to get frustrated!  Or the parent will be potty trained, not the child.

"The parent will be potty trained?" you ask.  "Aren't most parents already potty trained?"

What I mean by this is that the parent gets the child on a schedule of going to the washroom at certain times and takes the child automatically at these times.  Sure, the child may stay dry, but that doesn't mean that they have control or understanding over what is happening.  For a child to truly be potty trained, they need to understand what is going on and be able to control their own body functions.  

My advice is to wait until your child is showing signs that they are ready and then pounce!

Here are some signs to look for to know if your child is ready:

- staying dry for longer periods of time

- wanting to sit on the potty or toilet

- starting to indicate to you that they have just peed or pooped (even telling you after they've done the deed if a very good sign at this point)

- wanting to wear big boy or girl underwear

Once you start seeing these signs, it is time to step it up a notch.

Come on back next week for tips of how to begin potty training!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday # 3

Underwear vs Disposable Training Pants (pull ups)

OK, before I start, I want to stress that this post is based 100% on my opinions and experiences and is in no way meant to cause any kind of bad publicity towards any of the companies that manufacture or sell disposable training pants.  When I say to pull ups, I am referring to all types and brands of disposable training pants.

Now that I've got that out of the way, here goes!  

Based on my experiences, pull ups are a waste of time and money for children who are just starting to potty train.  These children are, for the most part, too young to understand the difference between these products and the diapers they have been wearing for their entire existence.  For this reason, I always recommend going straight from diapers to underwear.  

Yes, there are going to be accidents.  Yes, there is going to be laundry.  But this is inevitable.  Even if you do pull ups first, you are apt to have the accidents and laundry when you finally do make the switch to underwear.  Using underwear usually results in faster training.

Many children really do need to experience the uncomfortable feeling of peeing in their underwear and having it run down their leg and pool in their running shoe to understand why they shouldn't do it.  Like disposable diapers, most pull up type products are designed to pull moisture away from the skin to keep the child feeling dry.  If you are potty training, you want the child to feel the wet in order to learn to associate the feeling of having to pee with actually peeing.

I also find that I am less diligent about making frequent trips to the potty with a child who is in pull ups as I know that even if they do have an accident, it won't result in the same mess as if they were to have an accident while in underwear.  Sometimes when you are busy with something else when a child says "I have to pee" it is just easier to respond with "It's OK, you are in a pull up" than to stop what you are doing and take them to the potty.  I know it's not the right way to do things, but it is the easy way and human nature often pushes us towards the easy path.

If you aren't ready to take the leap into underwear, but want to start working on potty training, save yourself some time and money and stick with diapers.  Most disposable training pants require you to take off pants and shoes in order to put a new one on, which frankly, is a pain in the ass.  Diapers are quicker, easier and cheaper!  (There are some brands of disposable underwear that do have velcro to open the legs, but that doesn't eliminate the other negative points.)

All in all, pull ups in the beginning stages of potty training only prolong the process and eliminate laundry.  Not worth the expense, if you ask me!

Now, that being said, there are times when disposable training pants are a good choice for your potty training child.  When your child is getting close to being completely potty trained, pull ups are wonderful for long car rides and outings where you may not have quick or easy access to a washroom.  Once a child reaches this point in their training, they probably will be able to understand the difference between a diaper and pull up.  And if wearing a diaper, many children will think that they don't have to try to use the washroom.  Pull ups are also a good option for children who are having difficulty with night training.

I am not suggesting that your child will not potty train successfully if you use disposable underwear.  For some children, they work.  Some parents swear by them.  But for me, in daycare, they really are more trouble than they are worth and I cringe every time a parent brings or suggests pull ups for their child.  And whenever possible, I do everything in my power to talk them out of pull ups and into underwear.  And as a parent with a toddler who is rapidly approaching the potty training phase, I can't justify the extra expense to have my son wear pull ups all the time.  I will be keeping him in a diaper until we are ready for underwear.

But, like any parenting decision, just because this is what's best for me, doesn't mean that it's what's best for you!

Potty Training Tuesday # 2

Consistency

The key to ANY method of potty training is to be consistent.  It doesn't matter if you are using diapers or  disposable training pants (pull ups) or underwear you need to keep everything as consistent as possible.  Constantly switching back and forth between diapers and underwear is confusing for a toddler who is probably already confused about what is suddenly expected of them.

If you child is in any type of childcare situation, be it daycare, home care, a baby sit or even grandma, it is imperative that you are all on the same page about potty training.  You need to work together to follow the same methods in both settings.  Make sure that all caregivers, even the teenager down the street who babysits on Saturday morning while you go to yoga, know that your child is potty training,  Make them aware of the method and schedule of the child's potty needs.  Consistency in the choice of words used to describe body parts and functions is also important.  

Now, there are obviously going to be exceptions to the consistency rule.  When you are just starting out and even when you are getting close to your potty training goal, there will be times when having your child in underwear just isn't realistic.  Don't be afraid to put your child in a diaper for naps, at night or when you are going in the car.  But switching back and forth from diapers to underwear when you are at home and for no apparent reason will confuse your child and ultimately delay the process.

Consistency isn't a magic trick that will ensure quick, easy potty training but it will make things much easier for your child and for you!!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesday # 1

Getting Started

Before you jump into the fun and excitement of potty training, there are a few things you should do.

Buy a potty - there are lots to choose from - everything from simple and 100% functional to funky and fancy with lights and music - you don't need fancy, but if you think it will appeal to your child AND it fits your budget, go for it!  If you would rather have your child learn to use the toilet from the beginning, there are lots of options in toilet seats so that your little one doesn't fall into the big toilet!  Again, what every works for you and your child.  Remember, that your child may be a little scared to sit on the toilet at first because it is big and full of water!  If you are going the toilet route, you will need a good sturdy stool to assist your child getting onto the toilet.

Get LOTS of underwear and extra pants and laundry detergent.  There will probably be lots of extra laundry in your near future!  Children's underwear come in a wide array of styles.  Thicker fabric is good for starting out as it will absorb some of the mess but Dora, Diego etc. underwear might be more of an incentive for your child to stay dry.  Again, go with whatever appeals to your child and fits your budget.  Boxer style underwear is not a good idea of boy as it doesn't keep all messes contained!  (Believe me, it will roll right out and get tracked all over the carpet before you even know that it's happened!  And yes, I know this from experience!)  Pull-ups are also an option, stay tuned for a future post about my views on pull-ups!

Ditch the onesies!  I know they are great for keeping the munchkins warm but you do not want to be fumbling with those snaps while your little darling is doing the peepee dance - unless of course you like to get peed on!

Take a break from overalls - again, fumbling with buttons and straps while your child is peeing on your shoes is not cool!  And even if you do get them down in time, overall straps always seem to have a knack for ending up in the potty!  Check out your local Value Village or thrift shop for lots of elastic waist pants for potty training!

Be prepared for anything!  You could be one of the lucky ones and your child could be potty trained in a matter of days.  But it could take a month or more.  And you may have to admit that your child just isn't ready and take a break for a little while.

Every child is different.  What works for one may not work for the next.  You need to be ready to follow your child's lead and do what it takes to help him or her succeed!  

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Potty Training Tuesdays

Over recent weeks, I've had several discussions with friends, blog readers, twitter followers and others about potty training.  Although I don't for a second consider myself an expert, I know that I have had a hand in potty training countless toddlers since starting my first daycare job in 1998.

The experience, combined with recent requests for help and advice have encouraged me to start "Potty Training Tuesdays."  I will try to make this a weekly post sharing some of the tips, tricks and information that I have gained through the years.  Maybe even a few horror stories!

Please comment with your own thoughts, experiences and advice.  If you have any questions, post them in the comments and I will do my best to answer them in a future post.

Potty training is probably my least favorite part of my job (Potty Training Hell, Part 2, Part 3) but I have learned a lot over the years and hope that this will help some of the many people who struggle to potty train their children with little or no experience!  And maybe it will generate some interesting conversation!