Forgotten

Today was Thursday.

Today was payday.

I got my pay cheque this morning.

As I always do on payday, I walked to the bank on my lunch break.

I got in line and waited.

I checked my e-mail, facebook and twitter on my iPhone as I waited.

When it was almost my turn, I put the phone away and started to prepare for the teller.

I got my bank card out of my wallet.

I reached back into my purse for the envelope containing my pay cheque.

Nothing.

I looked in my wallet, thinking I had taken it out of the envelope and put it away.

Nothing.

I stuck my hands in my pockets, checking frantically for the missing piece of paper that was needed to pay our mortgage and truck payments.

Still nothing.

Then it hit me.

Damn it.

The pay cheque was still in the envelope, sitting in my locker where I put it when I received it.

I had picked up my purse and my iPhone but not the envelope.

I walked away cursing silently to myself as the teller looked at my and said, "Next Please."

I probably looked as stupid as I felt.

Back to work I rushed.

I wasted my 30 minute lunch break, waiting in line to do nothing.

Well, I guess it wasn't completely wasted.

I did get a little bit of fresh air and exercise.

But that doesn't make me feel any less stupid!

So, after work, I went back to the bank.

This time, I made sure I had my pay cheque in my purse before leaving work.

I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't attached.

(Not) Potty Training Tuesday #11

Sorry about the lack of a Potty Training Tuesday post last week.  I had good intentions, but it takes more than good intentions to write a coherent post!

As promised, here is an update on my potty training with Liam.  Or as you may have guessed from the title,  how I am not potty training Liam.

I thought that when he started telling me that he had pooped, that we were getting close to ready for potty training.  Then he started to tell me when he had peed in his diaper.  And most recently has come the realization that his used diapers are "eww".  Woo Hoo, potty training time!

WRONG!!!  Liam has absolutely no use for the potty as anything more than a chair.  And that would be fine as a starting off point, except that he refuses to let me take his diaper off to sit on it.

He just has absolutely no interest whatsoever in potty training right now.  I thought that he would see his friends at daycare sitting on the potty and follow along, but no!  I thought that maybe he could be enticed with stickers, but again, no!

I've even tried just taking the diaper off and putting him on the potty.  And let's just say, the temper tantrum was not a pretty sight!

So, we aren't potty training yet.We are in the "asking and talking it up" phase.Every diaper change I ask, "Liam, do you want to sit on the potty?"  Which is always answered with a  "NO!"I remind him one by one of all his friends at daycare who sit on the potty.To each name, he responds "yep."  He knows they all sit on the potty.My final question is always, "Are you going to sit on the potty today?"The response again is always, NO!"I smile and say, "Maybe next time."

What am I going to do about this, you ask?

NOTHING!

There's not a thing I can do about it.  If I force the issue, it is just going to make him mad and more resistant.  And it is going to cause everyone a whole lot of unwanted stress.  I have enough stress in my life without this!

The time will come, and until then, we will keep asking, encouraging and someday, he will sit on the potty!

Dear Blog

I know you are feeling very neglected and unloved right now.  

I am sorry.

I don't mean to neglect you like this.  

You are very important to me.

You are very much needed to help me keep what's left of my sanity.

However, for the past few weeks, I've been dealing with a sick boy as well as battling a sinus cold myself.

Unfortunately, I have not found the button to pause the rest of my life while I deal with these things, so I have found myself more sleep deprived and mental exhausted than usual.

Many times over recent days I've sat down with the intent of writing a blog post only to find that I couldn't even compose a coherent tweet or facebook status.  When I couldn't coherently compost a 140 character thought, it was quite clear that there was no point in even attempting a blog post!

Please, my dear blog, remember that when you are neglected like this, it is for a good reason.  And that I will always come back to you.  (Unless I have been committed to an insane asylum without computer time.)  My sanity depends on my time spent with you.

Love Me.  xoxoxox

Potty Training Tuesday #10

Boys and Aim

Moms, do yourselves and your future daughter in laws a favour and teach your son to aim from the beginning.  Unless you want to spend the next 18 years cleaning up pee off the floor and listening to your daughter in law complain about it for the rest of your life!

For some little boys, this isn't really an issue, they just naturally seem to know where things need to go. 

 For others, a few simple reminders:  "Point your penis down" or "Put your penis in the potty" does the trick.

Still others, need constant, repeated reminders to keep things in the right place.

And then there are others who need physical assistance each and every time.  If your son is one of these children, I suggest taking his hand and using it to hold/place his penis where it needs to be.  This not only gets things in the right place, but should teach him how to do it himself!  And hopefully, keeps your fingers out of the line of fire!

And finally there are the ones who can't keep their hands off it.  Little boys often seems to think that potty time is "play with my penis time".  And although this is a perfectly normal, natural exploration of body parts, if he happens to pee while exploring, it's going to get messy!

Another tidbit of advice, (that yes, I have learned the hard way) is that until you are 100% confident that your son has mastered the aim issue, don't stand in front of him while he's on the potty.  Stay off to the side to avoid a shower from the waterfall that is bound to happen from time to time.  

You really would be surprised how far that pee can fly!  Somehow, the laws of gravity do not apply to penises and little boys pee!

If you aren't having any luck with getting the pee in the potty/toilet with your son sitting on the potty, you can try standing up.

The best way that I have found to do this is to have him stand on a stool, facing the toilet, lean forward, putting both hands on the toilet tank and let gravity to the rest.  I know, I just said that the laws of gravity don't apply to little boys and pee, but there are exceptions to every rule!

All in all, find a way that works to teach your son the importance of getting the pee IN the potty not AROUND the potty will make your bathroom cleaning a lot easier!!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Tune in next week to hear about where we're at with Liam's potty training journey.

Organization . . . In Baby Steps

I can organize . . . at work, I am very good at organizing and keeping things organized.  At home, not so much!  I would love for my house to be organized and tidy all the time but I don't think that will ever happen.  I just don't have the time or energy to have a "perfect" house.

But something has got to be done because not only is it not a "perfect" house, it has become an absolute disaster.  Not quite sure when the tornado went through, but it did and the results are not pretty.  Every room seems to be overflowing with unorganized piles of stuff.  And it makes me want to scream or cry or sometimes even both.

It is so overwhelming, that I don't even know where to start.  So, I just don't.  I started trying to organize our back room in the fall, got overwhelmed and quit.  I haven't touched it in months and it is worse than ever.  

So, I've come up with a new strategy.  Instead of trying to tackle a whole room, I am just going to pick one job at a time.  I am going to organize my house in baby steps.

Over the Christmas holidays, I took the "in with the new, out with the old", philosophy, getting rid of anything that could be replaced with the new Christmas items.  Three boxes of stuff are ready to be delivered to New Moon Rabbit Rescue for their spring garage sale.  Good bye baby toys, hello toddler toys!

I've also organized my recipe box.  Now, I know this probably sounds like a quick, easy job, but it wasn't!  

I didn't want this anymore!

I spent hours sorting and rewriting recipes from scraps of paper on to proper index cards.  So that it could look like this!

So much better!!

In the grand scheme of things, it is a little thing, but it has brought a glimmer of organization back into my kitchen and some motivation to keep going!

Last weekend, I decided to organize my spices.  I bought a lazy susan type spice rack when we moved into the house eight years ago.  It was a nice spice rack.  I really liked it at the time.  But not anymore.  Now, it had become a counter top dust collector.  And my spices had long since outgrown the rack and were now taking up space in two different cupboards as well.

The spice rack dust collector!

A mess of spices in the pantry.

Another unorganized mess of spices in the cupboard above the stove.

So, everything came out onto the counter.

YIKES!

Once it was all on the counter, I had no choice but to continue.  Everything got organized, containers got filled and labeled.  Then, it all got nicely placed into a drawer.  There was lots of garbage.  There was lots of mess.  There was lots of sneezing.  But I am so happy with the results!

My new spice drawer!

And I am still motivated to keep going.  I'm not sure what I will tackle next . . . more kitchen cupboards?  My desk in the back room?  My bedroom closet?  The bathroom closet?  The possibilities are endless but I will keep taking organizational baby steps through my house.

Potty Training Tuesday # 9

Potty Training Rewards

Rewarding your child for potty successes is a good incentive to keep your son or daughter motivated.  I find that using stickers as a reward works quite well.  Stickers are tangible and visual for your child and inexpensive for you!

Create a sticker chart and put it somewhere your child will see it often so that it also serves as a reminder that he or she should try to use the potty.

In the beginning, your child's sticker chart can simply be a piece of paper with your child's name or a simple title, for example "Liam's Potty Stickers".  Let your child choose a sticker and place it on the sheet for each success on the potty.

As they progress, the chart can evolve to having a column for each day to track how many times they use the potty each day.

And again, as your child gets closer to being fully trained, you can modify the chart/reward system to getting stickers for staying dry for a period of time (ex. one for morning, one for afternoon, etc).

You can give your child bigger rewards for completing the bigger milestones.  For example, the first time they stay dry all day, you could let them pick out a package of special underwear to buy.  Or a small toy or book the first time they stay dry all week.

The thing to remember is that giving too many bigger rewards makes it difficult to stop giving them when they are no longer required for motivation.

For the same reason, I always advise people to stay away from using food (especially candy) as potty training rewards.  Most kids get more than enough junk food without adding in a candy every time they use the potty.  And it is a lot easier to wean your child off getting a sticker every time they pee then it is to convince them that they don't need a candy every time they pee!

Also, stickers on a sticker chart serve as a visual reminder for your child to use the potty as well as a way to track your child's success.

If you child is in daycare, you could check with their caregiver to see what kind of sticker reward system they use for potty training, in order to keep rewards consistent.

And once you are confident that your child is completely 100% potty trained, there is nothing wrong with giving them a one time, more substantial reward.  Potty training is not easy for kids and they do deserve some kind of recognition for their efforts!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Toddler Torture Time - AKA Bath Time

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING about toddler bath time in our house that is enjoyable.

From the moment the "B" word is mentioned, there are protests.  I get the bath ready and then go looking for the boy.  This is the first strike against bath time, as he has to stop whatever he is doing.  Generally, he runs away from me yelling, "No, no, no."  But it doesn't take long before I have cornered him.  Then the tears and howling start.

Then comes strike two for bath time.  I start to take his clothes off and you would think that I am skinning him alive by the way he screams, cries and kicks in protest.  Not only does this child of mine HATE having his clothes taken off and being naked, but his most loathed thing in the whole world is to have bare feet.  He ALWAYS wears socks.  If the socks come off for ANY reason, the world comes crashing down around him.  

"Mine sock, mine sock," he yells with tears streaming down his face as if someone had stole a priceless item from him.  It is a horrifying tragedy.

So, he is already mad, no angry, no furious as I haul him kicking and screaming to the bathroom, where the tub, full of water and toys awaits him.  And that is strike three, the water.  The toys would be great fun if there was no water, without water, he could keep his clothes on.  Without water, he could keep his socks!

Despite his active and insistent protests against bath time, into the tub he goes.  This is when he starts to call for reinforcements.  "Daddy, Daddy?" he calls, working hard to sound as tortured as possible.  When Daddy doesn't instantly appear, Liam starts wailing.  "Dadadadada Daddddy!"  Daddy comes, but doesn't save him, which causes even more howling and wailing.  Liam's world is not a happy place at this moment.

Now, you would think that after three strikes, that would be it, bath time would be out and we'd be done.  However, the torture has just begun!

The next strike is the biggie!  The worse of the worst tortures.  It could possible even rival Chinese water torture.  It's gasp, time to WASH!  We start with the hair.  

Now, over the past two years, we haven't once washed this child's hair without hysterics.  No matter how I try to wash his hair, (sitting up or laying down; hand held shower head or small cup)it is always traumatizing for both of us.  We've opted for the hand held shower head lately.  It isn't really any more traumatic than and other way we've tried, but it is the fastest.  And if he's going to scream and cry like he's being beaten, I want it to be as fast as possible!

In the past, once his hair is washed, Liam would calm down while I washed the rest of him and then would be content to play with his bath toys.  But that made the whole process much less frustrating for Mom, and we wouldn't want that, now would we?

The entire time I am cleaning him, Liam continues to scream and cry, "No Mommy, No, Mommy," while struggling to get out of the tub.

Finally, when all is clean, I tell him that he can play, he continues to yell.  "No out!  Out!  Socks, mine socks!"

So out we get for more torture, being dried.  Towels and bath robes are as bad as the bath itself!  More screams and cries.  And then the body lotion.  I would skip this step if I could, but he has excema and needs his cream.  But I swear, it's just lotion, not some kind of poison that I am applying to his body!

And heaven helps up all if I don't put those socks on immediately.  I don't know what he thinks might happen if he doesn't have socks on but they are very important to him!  (His bedtime Elmo even has to wear socks!)

When Liam is finally dressed and diapered, life begins to return to normal but usually a sippy cup of milk is needed before he completely calms down.

And for me, relief and exhaustion.  A struggle that I don't want to face again, but that I know I will be in the middle of again in a day or two.  If I am lucky, I'll be able to put it off for three days.  

I thank my lucky stars that I don't live in an apartment as I am sure one of my neighbours would have reported me to CAS by now.  The way the boy cries "No Mommy, No Mommy," over and over again, every time, I wouldn't blame them!

But seriously, it breaks my heart every time I have to bathe him and make him cry like that.  Bath time should be fun.  He should be slashing and making a mess of my bathroom.  I should be the one saying "No" when he splashes too much or tries to jump in the bath tub.  It shouldn't be this traumatic experience for either of us.  

But I am at a loss of for what to do.

We have bath toys.  I've tried bubble bath.  I've tried every way I can think of to wash his hair.

I wait as long as I possible can between baths so that he doesn't have to experience the trauma as often.  But maybe that's a mistake.  Maybe more often would get him more used to it but I can't bear to upset him anymore than necessary.  

All I can do is keep trying and hope that it is a phase that will someday (soon?) be over.  Until then, bath time will continue to be toddler torture time in our house.