Sick Little Bear

Another ear infection.

Both ears again.

Sleepless nights.

Antibiotics and Infant Advil.

It is the fourth time in a year.

The first one was just about this time last year.

I know it could be a lot worse.

Lots of kids get ear infections much more often.

Lots of kids are much more affected but the pain and discomfort.

Lots of kids are sick with a lot more serious things.

But this is my Little Bear.

My baby boy.

I can't help but feel bad every time he gets sick.

I can't help but wonder if there isn't something I can do to prevent this.

Did I do something to make him more prone to ear infections?

Does he get them because I only nursed him until he was eight months?

Is it hereditary? (Two of his aunts had chronic ear infections as young children.)

And I can't even be with him when he's sick.

I need to be at work.

When I really should be at home with my Little Bear.

I am taking care of other people's children.

When I should be taking care of my own child.

It doesn't bother him to stay with his Aunties or Grandma.

But it bothers me.  

I am thankful that we have them to look after him when he can't be at daycare.

But I wish we didn't have to call on them every time he gets sick.

I want to be a mom who takes care of my own sick Little Bear.

I hope he knows that I want to be with him.

I hope he knows that I want to be the one who cuddles him when his ears hurt.

I hope he knows how much I love him.