Potty Training Tuesday #6

Potty Talk . . . It Can Be A Good Thing

I once had a toddler at the daycare who often talked about "his Willy".  He told me that he got to see "his Willy" and play with him when he was at home but not at daycare.  I assumed that Willy was a family pet. Then we started potty training.  That's when I learned that this 2 year old and his father had nicknamed the child's penis Willy.

No matter how you approach potty training, it is going to involve many conversations about private body parts and bodily functions.  There are lots of words and phrases that can be used to to label and discuss these parts and actions.  Some are very anatomically correct and others are crude and vulgar.  Again, like most other parenting issues, it is your choice what words you use.  But remember that your child may not always choose the privacy of your home to discuss these matters.  So, if you want to each your son that his penis is a pecker (and yes, I've known parents who have done this) you will have to expect some looks of disgust when you son starts to talk about his pecker in the middler of the grocery store!

Personally, I think that it is best to teach children the proper names for body parts from the beginning.  Not only is it the easiest way to keep things consistent between home and daycare, it also eliminates confusion when you child is older and needs to know the proper names and words for things.  Besides, there will be lots of opportunities for your child to learn the slang and vulgar terms as they get older without you teaching it to them!

All discussions about potty training, body parts and using the toilet should be kept positive, even when the child has done something that you see as wrong.  It doesn't take much negativity to turn the whole potty training experience bad!

Here are some examples of how to talk about potty training to your toddler.s  Hopefully these will help you figure out your own version of potty talk.

Introducing the potty:

"It's time to learn to do your pees and poops in the potty."

"You are a big boy now.  It is time to sit on the potty to pee and poop."

"You can sit on the potty while Mommy sits on the toilet."

Making sure everything goes into the potty:

"Point your penis into the potty."

"Sit back all the way so the pee goes into the potty."

"Wait until you are all finished to stand up."

Success should ALWAYS be praised:

"Wow, you did a pee on the potty!"

"Great job, going pee on the potty."

"What a big girl you are for peeing on the potty!"

Accidents:

"Oh-oh, let's go change your wet pants."

"Next time we will try to get to the potty faster."

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Sick Little Bear

Another ear infection.

Both ears again.

Sleepless nights.

Antibiotics and Infant Advil.

It is the fourth time in a year.

The first one was just about this time last year.

I know it could be a lot worse.

Lots of kids get ear infections much more often.

Lots of kids are much more affected but the pain and discomfort.

Lots of kids are sick with a lot more serious things.

But this is my Little Bear.

My baby boy.

I can't help but feel bad every time he gets sick.

I can't help but wonder if there isn't something I can do to prevent this.

Did I do something to make him more prone to ear infections?

Does he get them because I only nursed him until he was eight months?

Is it hereditary? (Two of his aunts had chronic ear infections as young children.)

And I can't even be with him when he's sick.

I need to be at work.

When I really should be at home with my Little Bear.

I am taking care of other people's children.

When I should be taking care of my own child.

It doesn't bother him to stay with his Aunties or Grandma.

But it bothers me.  

I am thankful that we have them to look after him when he can't be at daycare.

But I wish we didn't have to call on them every time he gets sick.

I want to be a mom who takes care of my own sick Little Bear.

I hope he knows that I want to be with him.

I hope he knows that I want to be the one who cuddles him when his ears hurt.

I hope he knows how much I love him.

Potty Training Tuesday #5

Time to Actually Get Started

You have the potty and underwear.  You've seen all the signs.  You know it is time.  But you have no idea where to start.

Start by having your child sit on the potty when you change their diaper.  You may or may not see any action, but it will get your child familiar with sitting on the potty.  As you get closer to actually starting to move to wearing underwear, you can start putting your child on the potty more often (after meals, before bath, other times when you think that they might need to pee).  It is always nice to have some success before you venture into underwear so that your child has an idea of what they are supposed to do.

When you are both ready, pick a time when you don't have any other plans and pull on the underwear.  For the first little while, you should plan to take your child to the potty every 15-20 minutes.  Encourage them to sit for a few minutes each time, singing songs or reading stories as good ways to pass the time.  

You will soon be able to tell if you really need to take your child that often.  Some children at this stage pee often but small amounts, others don't pee as often but larger amounts.  You need to learn your child's needs to judge how often to take them.  As the days and weeks progress, your child will start to tell you when they have to go to the potty.

Don't be afraid to put a diaper on your child for naps or going out, but do try to be as consistent as possible with the underwear and trips to the potty.  And be prepared for lots of laundry!

Another very important thing to remember is to always be positive.  There may be a few accidents or there may be a lot of accidents.  But either way, you need to keep this as a positive experience.  If you get frustrated, upset or angry when they have an accident, it is very quickly going to become a negative experience.  Give lots of praise for success and downplay accidents.

You are going to be making many trips to the potty in the first few days and weeks, but it will be worth it in the long run.  Don't be afraid to show your child what you want them to do.  There is nothing wrong with letting your child watch you use the toilet.  Watching older siblings can be excellent motivation as well.  Follow your child's cues and hope for the best!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Kemptville Santa Claus Parade - According to Liam

So, yesterday, we all got ready and went to the Santa Claus Parade in Kemptville.  I've never been to a Santa Claus Parade before, so I wasn't sure what to expect!  But it was fun!

Mom tried to make me wear my hat and mitts.  I don't know why she is always trying to make me do things I don't want to do.  She thinks she knows everything.  She kept telling me that I was going to get cold if I didn't wear them.  I told her she was crazy!

Finally, I gave in a put on my hat, just to get her to leave me alone about it.

Unfortunately, mom was right, I did get cold and finally gave in and put on my mittens.  They kept my hands warm, but it was hard to eat my cookie and drink my milk.

Mom always insists on getting Dad to take our picture.  Seriously, does she have to do it when I am trying to have a snack?

Then the parade started.  There were LOTS of big trucks!  And they had big loud horns!  Vroom, vroom, beep, beep!

The parade was very interesting.

I have no idea what that green creature is, but he had a dog, so that's cool!  I like dogs!  Dogs says woof.

And there was candy!!!  Lollipops are awesome, but again, would have been much easier without the mittens!

There were cows.  Mom says that they are horses.  But I am sure they are cows.  Could someone please back me up on this?  I really want to be right!

There were tractors!  I like tractors.  I want a big one like this just for me.  Wonder if Santa will bring me one?

Fire Trucks are cool too!  They have lights, horns and sirens!  I want one!  Santa?

And at the end was Santa and his reindeer.  I thought they were cows too.  But Dad said no.  I believe Dad.  Dad is always right.  Mom, not so much!

The parade was lots of fun and then we went to McDonalds for lunch.  And then went shopping.  I wonder when the next Santa Claus parade is?  

But That's MY Boy!

"No thank you, Liam," I hear.  I take a deep breath and try to focus on what I'm doing.

"Liam, you need to be gentle."  I cringe and resist the urge to go see what the problem is.

"Liam, you need to be nice to your friends."  It is all I can do not to rush over, find out what the problem is and deal with it my way.  Instead, I casually look across the room to see Liam raise his hand to hit one of his friends.

"Liam, you need to use your gentle hands," Ashley calmly tells my son as she leads him away.

As I watch my own group of children, I continue to keep an eye on what's going on with Liam on the other side of the room.  

I see it at the same time Ashley does, his hand up, ready to hit another child.  

I watch to see what's going to happen.

Before Ashley can get to him, Liam hits his friend.  

"Liam, you need to use your gently hands," Ashley says, firmly.  "Come and sit on time out."

"No," he cries as she leads him away.  He goes limp and she has to pick him up and place him on time out.  He stands to run away.

"Liam, one," Ashley starts, giving him the look.  By the time she gets to two, he's sitting back down.  He's not happy about it, but he's sitting.  And I can confidently go back to giving my group my whole attention.

It is so hard to sit and watch someone else discipline my child and not be able to do anything about it.  A part of me wants to save him from whatever trouble he is getting into, but I know better than that!  I know that if he gets away with something even once, he'll do it over and over again.

But mostly, I want to step in and discipline him MY way.  Now, don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with anything Ashley does.  She is a wonderful teacher.  Liam adores her and I am happy to have her as part of my team.  Everything she does with Liam (and the other children in her group) is pretty much exactly what I do with the kids in my group.  

But Liam's not just another daycare kid.  Liam is MY SON!  My expectations for him are higher.  I don't want him to turn into the aggressive kid in the group.  I want him to know that hitting (or whatever he is doing that is getting him on time out) is unacceptable.  I want him to know that I've seen what he's done.

But I can't.  I need to focus my attention to the kids in my group and what they are doing.  I have to sit back and watch as Ashley does her job.  All I can do is ask her later what provoked his hitting.  All I can do is encourage gentle and discourage aggressive when he is with me.  And hope for the best.

Ashley, if you are reading this,keep up the good work with my boy!  And I am glad he doesn't give you this kind of trouble often!!

Potty Training Tuesday # 4

How Do you Know Your Child Is Ready?

A mistake that many parents make when setting out on the potty training journey is starting before the child is ready.  And if the child isn't ready, the child isn't going to potty train and the parent is going to get frustrated!  Or the parent will be potty trained, not the child.

"The parent will be potty trained?" you ask.  "Aren't most parents already potty trained?"

What I mean by this is that the parent gets the child on a schedule of going to the washroom at certain times and takes the child automatically at these times.  Sure, the child may stay dry, but that doesn't mean that they have control or understanding over what is happening.  For a child to truly be potty trained, they need to understand what is going on and be able to control their own body functions.  

My advice is to wait until your child is showing signs that they are ready and then pounce!

Here are some signs to look for to know if your child is ready:

- staying dry for longer periods of time

- wanting to sit on the potty or toilet

- starting to indicate to you that they have just peed or pooped (even telling you after they've done the deed if a very good sign at this point)

- wanting to wear big boy or girl underwear

Once you start seeing these signs, it is time to step it up a notch.

Come on back next week for tips of how to begin potty training!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!

Comfort Food

We all have comfort foods - something that makes you feel better when you are feeling down, something that brings a smile to your face when you are sad, something that triggers a happy memory.

Comfort foods are different things for different people and even different foods for different situations.  And everyone has a different reason for needing their comfort foods.

For me, when I'm stressed and busy with a million things to do, I always want a Big Mac.  And for those few minutes, while I am enjoying the gooey goodness of my horribly unhealthy treat, it's like the world stops turning and nothing else matters.  My Big Mac and I could take on the world!

Earlier this week, as I was enjoying some time along at home, I suddenly needed another of my comfort foods.  Not because I was feeling down or sad, it simply took the mention of potato leek soup on Twitter for me to be wanting needing my Grandma's Homemade Cream of Potato Soup.  I pretty much dropped what I was doing to make it, because I knew that I wouldn't be settled or comforted until I'd had it.  (Fortunately, it was also almost lunch time!)

And sure enough, as soon as it was cooked and I'd filled my tummy with it's creamy goodness, I was satisfied and could easily move on to the household chores I had planned for the day.  I know that if I'd had anything else for lunch, I would have been restless and unproductive for the rest of the day.

So, on that note, I'd like to share my Grandma's Cream of Potato Soup Recipe with you.  Not only has it been a comfort food of mine since I moved out of my parents house, it was also the ONLY thing I craved when I was pregnant with Liam!  I must have made it at least once a week the winter I was pregnant and on maternity leave!

Grandma's Potato Soup

6-8 medium potatoes

1 medium onion

1 clove garlic or garlic powder (optional)

2 large carrots

1 cup + 2 cups (approx.) of milk

salt

pepper

1)  Peel and boil potatoes.

2) While potatoes are boiling, use chop onion, carrot and garlic.  

( Nicki's note: I like to use the food processor to chop them nice and fine, but not pureed, but you can leave them chunkier if you wish.  They just take longer to cook if chunky.)

3) In a large pot, heat 1 cup of milk, onions, carrots and garlic to boiling.  Turn to low and simmer to cook veggies.

4) Drain and mash potatoes.

5) Add potatoes to milk mixture.

6) Add 2 cups of milk.  (You may want to add a little less for thicker soup or a little more for thinner soup.)

7) Add salt and pepper to taste.  And garlic powder (if not using fresh garlic).

8) Simmer for 10 minutes.

9) Enjoy!

Poetry

Poetry doesn't come easy for me - even reading and making sense of it can be a challenge for me.  And I never try to write it.  Trying to write poetry gives me a headache, and I get enough of those without trying! 

However, once in a while, usually completely out of the blue, something will come to me and if I don't write it, I will be haunted by poem fragments bouncing around in my brain until I do something productive with it!  I have tried ignoring it before, to avoid the "trying to write poetry headache" and it doesn't work, the haunting continues day in and day out until I write something.  

Today was one of those days when poetry invaded my little brain and would not leave me alone.  Of course, it happened while I was in the middle of finger paint with my group of toddlers at work AND trying to keep them from throwing toys across the room (yeah, bet you wish you had my job!).  So, between cleaning paint off fingers and the table AND trying to convince them that lego are more for building with than throwing at each other, I grabbed a scrap of green construction paper and scribbled a few things and shoved it in my back pocket before pulling one of my kids off the table before he could stand on it and probably jump off.

Sometimes I write a poem that I am happy with other times, I write garbage.  The ones I am happy with get written in a little notebook tucked beside my bed, never to be shown to anyone.  And the garbage, well, do I really have to tell you that I put garbage in the garbage?

Tonight, I took my scribbles and turned them into something that I call poetry.  (You may or may not agree, and I won't be insulted if you laugh at me!  Like I said, once these thoughts are in my head, I HAVE to write them.)  

They don't listen, 

They run around like wild animals,

Toys are throw,

Paint covers everything,

Patience is wearing very thin,

I want to yell.

I want to scream.

I want to run away.

But I stay,

I take a deep breath.

Remind myself,

They need to learn,

They need to be taught.

I need to show them,

Guide them,

 Teach them.

****************************

Quiet

Suddenly, the quiet settles in,

For a brief moment, 

I quickly search,

For any sign of my sanity,

Grasping for it,

Before it is gone again.

As suddenly as it came,

The quiet is gone again,

Smothered by the chaos.

Potty Training Tuesday # 3

Underwear vs Disposable Training Pants (pull ups)

OK, before I start, I want to stress that this post is based 100% on my opinions and experiences and is in no way meant to cause any kind of bad publicity towards any of the companies that manufacture or sell disposable training pants.  When I say to pull ups, I am referring to all types and brands of disposable training pants.

Now that I've got that out of the way, here goes!  

Based on my experiences, pull ups are a waste of time and money for children who are just starting to potty train.  These children are, for the most part, too young to understand the difference between these products and the diapers they have been wearing for their entire existence.  For this reason, I always recommend going straight from diapers to underwear.  

Yes, there are going to be accidents.  Yes, there is going to be laundry.  But this is inevitable.  Even if you do pull ups first, you are apt to have the accidents and laundry when you finally do make the switch to underwear.  Using underwear usually results in faster training.

Many children really do need to experience the uncomfortable feeling of peeing in their underwear and having it run down their leg and pool in their running shoe to understand why they shouldn't do it.  Like disposable diapers, most pull up type products are designed to pull moisture away from the skin to keep the child feeling dry.  If you are potty training, you want the child to feel the wet in order to learn to associate the feeling of having to pee with actually peeing.

I also find that I am less diligent about making frequent trips to the potty with a child who is in pull ups as I know that even if they do have an accident, it won't result in the same mess as if they were to have an accident while in underwear.  Sometimes when you are busy with something else when a child says "I have to pee" it is just easier to respond with "It's OK, you are in a pull up" than to stop what you are doing and take them to the potty.  I know it's not the right way to do things, but it is the easy way and human nature often pushes us towards the easy path.

If you aren't ready to take the leap into underwear, but want to start working on potty training, save yourself some time and money and stick with diapers.  Most disposable training pants require you to take off pants and shoes in order to put a new one on, which frankly, is a pain in the ass.  Diapers are quicker, easier and cheaper!  (There are some brands of disposable underwear that do have velcro to open the legs, but that doesn't eliminate the other negative points.)

All in all, pull ups in the beginning stages of potty training only prolong the process and eliminate laundry.  Not worth the expense, if you ask me!

Now, that being said, there are times when disposable training pants are a good choice for your potty training child.  When your child is getting close to being completely potty trained, pull ups are wonderful for long car rides and outings where you may not have quick or easy access to a washroom.  Once a child reaches this point in their training, they probably will be able to understand the difference between a diaper and pull up.  And if wearing a diaper, many children will think that they don't have to try to use the washroom.  Pull ups are also a good option for children who are having difficulty with night training.

I am not suggesting that your child will not potty train successfully if you use disposable underwear.  For some children, they work.  Some parents swear by them.  But for me, in daycare, they really are more trouble than they are worth and I cringe every time a parent brings or suggests pull ups for their child.  And whenever possible, I do everything in my power to talk them out of pull ups and into underwear.  And as a parent with a toddler who is rapidly approaching the potty training phase, I can't justify the extra expense to have my son wear pull ups all the time.  I will be keeping him in a diaper until we are ready for underwear.

But, like any parenting decision, just because this is what's best for me, doesn't mean that it's what's best for you!

Toddler Talk

Watching a child develop from an infant to a toddler is a wonderfully interesting experience.  One of the most fascinating aspects of this journey, for me, is language development.  Over the years, I have seen many toddlers go from not being able to say any real words to speaking in sentences as well as asking and answering questions.  And it never ceases to amaze me how quickly they can learn and develop these skills.

Now, it is even more exciting as I get to experience it with my own son.  It has been a while since I posted about his language skills and we were still very much in the Baby Talk phase at that point, but Liam has recently leap into speaking like a toddler.  His vocabulary is growing every day and it is just incredible!  Of course at 22 months, there is still a lot of incomprehensible babble but the real words just keep coming and coming.  

Here are some of his favorite, well pronounced words: cat, dog, cow, meow, daddy, turtle, toes, nose, shoe, eye, car, ball, frog, cup, bear, no, mine, hi, hello, bye, night-night, stat, yep, up, down, help, stuck.  The list could go on, but those are the ones we hear the most often.

And then there are my favorites, the words that don't quite sound like they are supposed to, but we know what he is saying, these are the ones that I really want to remember because they are so cute and so unique.

beeair - bunny, not sure why because we have bunnies, and it doesn't seem like it would be a difficult word, but whatever!

Nonny - Mommy, I believe that he has combined Nicki with Mommy to get this, I am just glad that he's not calling me Nicki anymore.

warewane - airplane, he is completely obsessed with airplanes!

pea - please

tak u - thank you

Kikle- Tickles (one of the cats)

Ayaya - Nala (the other cat)

taktar -tractor

ire uck - fire truck

peea - pizza

lrd - lizzard

key - cookies

Ashee - Ashley, his favorite daycare teacher

Nini - Wini, another of his daycare teachers

Anana - Hannah, a girlfriend at daycare

SeeSee - Sidney, another daycare girlfriend

catca - butterfly, no idea how he came up with this, but he's been consistently saying it for months!

Melmo - Elmo

cheechees - cheesies

Everyday, I wait and listen for now words and love how smart my little boy is becoming, even though he is growing far too fast!

Halloween According to Liam

So, I'm not really sure what this Halloween stuff is all about, but parts of it were fun.  And parts of it were HORRIBLE!!!  

First, I got to wear my Tigger suit to daycare on Friday.  My friends wore costumes too and we had cake with icing for snack!!  I like cake!

Sunday, I had a hot dog for supper and then got my Tigger suit on again.  Mom gave me a tiger nose and whiskers.  And she let me play with my puppup.  (pumpkin)  There are puppup everywhere at Halloween!  I love them, but nobody will let me play with them!

Waiting for mom and dad to take me Trick or Treating . . . at this point, I had no idea what Trick or Treating was, so I was happy and excited.  And they said we were going to Grandma's house.  I love going to Grandma's house!

Trick or Treating started out OK, I followed Dad down the path to the house and up the steps to the door.  And then I was done.  I wanted to go.  But they wouldn't let me.  They all, mom, dad and grandma, made me stay while the door opened.  I yelled and cried and said please, but they made me stay.  They said it was OK, it was Dawn's house and that I know Dawn, but I still didn't like it.  Even when she put goodies in my bag I didn't like it.

Phew, back outside.  Everything was good once we got back to the driveway.  Trick or Treating isn't much fun, but there was a warewane (airplane) in the sky and then birds!  We got back in the truck and I thought we were going to Grandma's house.

But we didn't.  We went to another house.  Mom and Dad thought I would be OK at this house because I have been here before.  But I still didn't like Trick or Treating.  This is Dad's Uncle Richard and Aunt Diane's house, so we went inside for a few minutes.  I did not want to go in.  But they made me.  Eventually when their dog came upstairs, I settled down a bit.

Finally we went back to Grandma's house!!  And I found chips in my bag!  I like chips.  I just don't like going to people's houses to get them.  Why can't we just get them at the grocery store?  But Grandma's house is fun!

Seriously, don't you all think I am the cutest Tigger ever??

"RAR!  RAR!  RAR!"

Mom and Dad keep saying that by next year I will understand this whole Halloween thing better and it will be more fun for me!

I should be . . .

Supper's finished, the dishes are done, the toddler is in bed.  <>  Time to sit down and relax.  Time to check in on Facebook and Twitter.  Time to catch up on reading my favorite blogs.

But not really.  All the time I spend on the computer should really be spent doing something much more productive.  Yet, night after night, I find myself parked at the computer because it is easier.  It doesn't take any physical effort.  It is definitely more entertaining.  And for the most part, it doesn't even take much thought.  Occasionally I write a blog post or have a conversation that exercises my brain cells slightly but for the most part, the only thing getting any kind of exercise are my typing fingers.  Although I have never seen any type of study or proof, I am pretty much convinced that typing isn't going to help me lost any weight.

I need to find a way to motivate myself to do the things that need to be done FIRST and then enjoy some computer time.  And to remember the things that I want and need to do each day.  I spend waste too much time doing nothing on the computer - playing silly games, refreshing Facebook and Twitter every 30 seconds, registering for yet another message board or group that I may will never visit again.

This is all time that could should be spent:

cleaning my house

tidying the drawers of my desk

organizing my craft supplies

organizing and scrubbing out my kitchen cupboards

cleaning out my closet and dresser

planning Brownie meetings

working on my scrapbooks

baking or cooking (to freeze)

exercising to lose weight and get healthier

The list could go on and on and on but I am sure that you get the point.

It is time for things to change.  It is time for me to start accomplishing something.  It is time to start spending at least an hour each evening (after Liam is in bed) doing something away from the computer.  Do you think I can do it?  I'm not even sure I can do it.  But I have to try.  I can't keep ignoring everything except my computer.  Can I?

Potty Training Tuesday # 2

Consistency

The key to ANY method of potty training is to be consistent.  It doesn't matter if you are using diapers or  disposable training pants (pull ups) or underwear you need to keep everything as consistent as possible.  Constantly switching back and forth between diapers and underwear is confusing for a toddler who is probably already confused about what is suddenly expected of them.

If you child is in any type of childcare situation, be it daycare, home care, a baby sit or even grandma, it is imperative that you are all on the same page about potty training.  You need to work together to follow the same methods in both settings.  Make sure that all caregivers, even the teenager down the street who babysits on Saturday morning while you go to yoga, know that your child is potty training,  Make them aware of the method and schedule of the child's potty needs.  Consistency in the choice of words used to describe body parts and functions is also important.  

Now, there are obviously going to be exceptions to the consistency rule.  When you are just starting out and even when you are getting close to your potty training goal, there will be times when having your child in underwear just isn't realistic.  Don't be afraid to put your child in a diaper for naps, at night or when you are going in the car.  But switching back and forth from diapers to underwear when you are at home and for no apparent reason will confuse your child and ultimately delay the process.

Consistency isn't a magic trick that will ensure quick, easy potty training but it will make things much easier for your child and for you!!

Stay tuned for more tips, tricks and advice every Tuesday!  And please do share your own experiences!  I am always looking for ways to make potty training easier for myself, not only at work, but also at home as I will soon be jumping in head first to potty train Liam!