These days we never know where a conversation with Liam will take us. It could be short, sweet and to the point or it could be long and confusing, leaving you wondering where this child came from! One thing is for sure, there are a lot of laughs to be had. And I really don't know how the kid knows the things he knows!
Here are some of my favourites from the past few days.
Liam: "Today I was a bad crocodile."
Me: "How do you be a bad crocodile?"
Liam: "I do this." <looked at me with a mean glare> "And I have a big long nose with very big, very sharp teeth. Crocodiles have big scary teeth."
Me: "Yes, they do have big teeth."
Liam: "And crocodiles have sharp toes with very sharp nails that come out of their toes for scratching, like this." <he put his hands up to demonstrate scratching> "Crocodiles have really big, very big tails that they use to hit things. And they swim in the water. Bad crocodiles eat animals that they hit with their big tails and grab with their sharp toes and sharp nails."
Me: "Are there any good crocodiles?"
Liam: "No, crocodiles are all bad. They bit and scratch and hit. They are just bad crocodiles."
Liam: "I know how to make tuna melts.
First you put the tuna on and then you put the cheese on.
And then it just melts."
Liam: "Mommy, I want to you to get in the bath with me."
Me: "No thank you, I don't want to take a bath right now."
Liam: "But it is fun to play with dinosaurs and sharks in the bath with me."
Me: "Maybe another time."
Liam: "We need to buy you a bathtub of your own so that we can have baths together. We can go get it later at Walmart. No, maybe we'll get it at Costco. Costco is better."
On the way home from work/daycare:
Liam: "Daddy, who built your truck?"
Henry: "Ford built it."
Liam: "Where does Ford work? Does he work at Walmart or Costco?"
Henry: "Ford isn't a person. Ford is a company that makes trucks."
Liam: "Where is Ford now? Is he going home?"
Henry: "Ford is not a person. This truck was made at Ford in Virginia"
Henry: "Because there is a big factory in Virginia where Ford makes lots and lots of trucks."
Liam:"Does Ford do it all by himself?"
Henry: "No, lots of different people helped to build this truck."
Henry: "Someone makes the engine, someone makes the radiator, someone puts on the doors, someone puts in the seats."
Liam: "What do they use to make trucks?"
Henry: "Metal, screws and bolts."
Liam: "And glue. Ford uses white glue to build trucks."
Henry: "No, they don't use glue, glue wouldn't hold the truck together."
Liam: "Yes it would. Ford uses white glue to put the door on. They just use lots and lots of it."
Henry: "White glue is just for paper. It wouldn't work for building a truck."
Liam: "Yes, it does. I know it does."
Liam: "What is this yellow stuff in my ear?" (in a very concerned tone)
Liam: "Who put yellow wax in my ear?" (sounding horrified)
Me: "It's OK, wax just comes out of your ears sometimes."
Liam: "I don't like it when wax comes out of my head into my ears."