Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sick Little Bear

Another ear infection.
Both ears again.
Sleepless nights.
Antibiotics and Infant Advil.

It is the fourth time in a year.
The first one was just about this time last year.
I know it could be a lot worse.
Lots of kids get ear infections much more often.
Lots of kids are much more affected but the pain and discomfort.
Lots of kids are sick with a lot more serious things.

But this is my Little Bear.
My baby boy.
I can't help but feel bad every time he gets sick.
I can't help but wonder if there isn't something I can do to prevent this.
Did I do something to make him more prone to ear infections?
Does he get them because I only nursed him until he was eight months?
Is it hereditary? (Two of his aunts had chronic ear infections as young children.)

And I can't even be with him when he's sick.
I need to be at work.
When I really should be at home with my Little Bear.
I am taking care of other people's children.
When I should be taking care of my own child.
It doesn't bother him to stay with his Aunties or Grandma.
But it bothers me.  
I am thankful that we have them to look after him when he can't be at daycare.
But I wish we didn't have to call on them every time he gets sick.
I want to be a mom who takes care of my own sick Little Bear.

I hope he knows that I want to be with him.
I hope he knows that I want to be the one who cuddles him when his ears hurt.
I hope he knows how much I love him.

1 comment:

  1. He knows. But I'm still sending anti-mama-guilt ninjas to your house in case you don't believe me. Bonus: they fight ear germs. Probably.