Calm and rational? No, that would be too easy. I am more of a bottle it up, stick a cork in it and heat it until it explodes kind of person.
I don't want to be this way. I know that I shouldn't be but it always seems like a good idea at the time. Why deal with something that can be ignored? Getting it out in the open and dealing with it could prevent future hurt and upset. But I can't see into the future, so maybe it will never come up again.
It doesn't matter how many times the same thing happens or how much it hurts or upsets me, I always think that if I just ignore it, it will never happen again.
It doesn't matter how many times I ignore it, it always comes up again!
Eventually, the inevitable happens, I shove too many ignored situations into that bottle, put the cork in way too tight and leave it in the sun for far too long until . . .
It explodes everywhere. Everyone ends up hurt and upset. Nothing gets accomplished. Nothing gets fixed. Nothing changes.
It will happen again. Probably over the same thing. Probably exactly the same way.
But will I learn? Will I change? Probably not. I try, I want to be different, but change is hard. I just hope that the people I hurt will forgive me and continue to be the friends that I need them to be.