Saturday, September 18, 2010

Notice to Vacate

Dear Allergies

Please accept this as a formal request to vacate my head and sinuses immediately.  Despite my numerous informal pleas for you to leave, you are still violating many of the terms of our agreement.

Our agreement stated that if you were going to reside in my head, it would have to be essentially symptom free.  My constant stuffy nose and itchy watery eyes, both caused by you not only cause physical discomfort, but mental anguish.  You keep me up at night, leaving me exhausted and cranky during the day.  I am miserable because of you, Allergies.

Aside from physical and mental discomforts, you are causing me financial strain.  I rely on costly pills in an attempt to keep you under control.  And I am sure that with the amount of Kleenex I use, I am personally responsible for the deforestation of a rain forest somewhere.

I am sick and tired (both literally and figuratively) of you and all the problems and issues that you have been responsible for over the years that you have resided in my head.  I was young and foolish when I entered into this agreement with you.  I will not longer tolerate you and your nonsense.  If you do not leave on your own accord, I will be forced to take more drastic measures.

Thank you for your immediate co-operation.

1 comment:

  1. LOL I love this. It was super funny! I don't have allergies lucky me!